If I could gather up the nerve,
by loverslostinspace
Summary: I'd put my feelings into words.   Rockie is sick of her typical family vacation, but this one is different... Could this possibly change life as she knows it?  A John O'Callaghan fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! I tried to keep the chapters somewhat short, this is just the intro, it's not very interesting but it's setting up for the story!**

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"Raquel Elizabeth,:" my mother yelled. "Why are you still asleep? We need to be at the airport in 3 hours and you still haven't packed!

"Mom, we're only gonna be gone for a week." I looked at my alarm clock, 10:26. "It won't take me more than 15 minutes to pack and it's only 10:26." I yawned as I stated this fact. She can be so paranoid sometimes.

"I don't care! Up! Now!" she retorted, "We're leaving at 12:15 to go get lunch before we head to the airport, remember, you need to bring a dress for the formal night on the ship! And don't forget to bring your bathi- "

"MOM. I KNOW. BATHING SUIT. IT'S A CRUISE. WHY WOULD I FORGET A BATHING SUIT?" she was seriously bugging me now.

"Alright, be ready by 12:15" she stated.

My name is Raquel, but I go by Rockie. I'm the kind of girl that sits in her room, on the computer, most of the time. I occasionally slip away to the city to hang out with friends, seeing as they all live there. I hate beaches, and I especially hate being stuck in confined spaces with family. Our family has always gone on a family vacation every year. Joy. My mom and dad loved the outdoors, they could hike all day, and camp, oh how they loved camping. I suggested the idea of a cruise this year, which they thought was brilliant, and they were glad I was taking part in planning the annual family trip. I had ulterior motives. I HATE beaches, they don't know that though. Normally, on our little "vacation" which is more like a prison sentence for me, I have to constantly stick by there sides because there are "dangerous people in this world". But on a cruise ship... they had no issue with me roaming off and doing my own thing, after all, it's not like I could disappear anywhere right? We're in the middle of the ocean on a ship. I knew at the ports of call I'd most likely be stuck with them. But at least the cruise we were going on had many days at sea, so I'd get to have a lot of alone time roaming the ship.

We stopped at ate lunch at Gracie's, a local Italian restaurant. This must be their kind way of saying "Rockie, please don't make this vacation miserable for everyone," because they knew this was my favorite place to eat. We arrived at the airport at about 3pm. Our flight leaves at 4:30. I could handle the hour and a half we have in the airport. It's the 3 and a half hour flight from New York to Miami that was going to kill me. My mother had paid extra to make sure that we would all get seats next to each other on the plane.

"Flight 2389 to Miami now boarding." A woman's voice blared through the overhead speakers.

Great, here comes the torture, I thought. Luckily, I brought my ipod, with a fully charged battery, and a charger to use on the ship. This would be my sweet escape. I turned on my ipod and pretended to sleep. After what seemed like forever, we landed in Miami at about 8 o'clock.

We were going to stay at a hotel for the night, we had to be at the port to board the ship at 11am. There was a taxi waiting for us outside the airport. My mother was great at planning, I'll give her that. We stayed at the Marriot. I could get used to this. I'm surprised she booked this hotel, she never likes staying in hotels, she'd rather camp, and if we stayed in a hotel, it was cheap and dirty. Yuck. I sat in the hotel room, watching Pirates of the Caribbean on HBO. Ironic, we were going on a Caribbean cruise.

I would love to have a guy that looked like Orlando Bloom be a part of my Caribbean experience.

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**Hope you enjoyed so far!**


	2. Chapter 2

We got to the port at 10am, my mother wanted to make sure we were there ahead of time so we could be some of the first people to go through security and have our bags put on onboard. I could get used to not having to lug my own bags around too. We booked two rooms across the hall from each other, there were no more conjoining room left. Thank god. It was going to be me and my sister in one room, and my parents in the other. I was more than pleased with this, because I knew my sister wouldn't stay in a separate room with them, so I had my own room. We were in room 814 and 815. On the 8th deck. Deck 9 was the lido deck, where pretty much everything was; food, pools, ect. We went to our rooms and set our stuff down. Our suitcases weren't going to be there until later on.

My parents went to go explore, and I went to get something to eat.

Prime rib, chocolate covered strawberries, twice baked potatoes, strawberry poppy seed salad, orange passion fruit mango juice. YUM. I could REALLY get used to this. And the best part was I could get as much as I want, whenever I want. I got myself a little bit of all of that, there was so much other food to choose from, but I stuck with my favorites for now, after all, I could come back for more if I wanted to.

After I ate, and all of our luggage came, we had the "safety briefing" which was pretty much an hour of me standing on a deck with 3,000 other people listening to a guy explain basic safety instructions in 3 different languages. Fun. At the end of the announcements the guy said there was a meeting about the "teen club" in the Venetian Theater tonight at 7, and that you must attend the meeting and sign up to be able to go to the club.

"Mom, can we go to the teen club meeting tonight?" I asked.

"Of course," she replied, "we can go right after dinner."

Score. There was bound to be some attractive teenage guys on this ship right?

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**Hope you all enjoyed!**


	3. Chapter 3

"Hello everyone!" the way-too-happy lady standing on stage said. "we have two options for the teen clubs on this ship! We have club O2 which is for teens from the age of 14-17 and we have Mirage for teens 18-20, If you have graduated high school and are going off to college this semester, and you are still 17, you may go to Mirage with a parent's consent."

20? That's not a teen... but I'm not gonna complain at all. I get along with people older than me so much better. I just have to get my parents to consent. Easy.

"Hey mom?" I started.

"Yeah Rockie?"

"Can I go to Mirage? Pleaseee, please please! You know I get along with older people better."

"Sure, I guess, if you really want to. You'll be turning 18 in October anyway."

YES. That was way too easy...

We went up to the tables and grabbed the registration and consent forms. They gave us pamphlets with all the different activities and things that Mirage would be offering. Not really interested in a lot of these things, I just scanned through them briefly, but there was something that stuck out...

"**Come join us tonight for the Caribbean Cruise Kick Off Party! Enjoy refreshing mocktails, dancing, an make some new friends while you're at it! The fun starts at 11pm in Mirage, the party will continue until 3am." **Party? Dancing? I'm in.

I went back to the room and started to get ready. I was still in the clothes I had put on when I woke up this morning. Knowing I'd find some way to party on this cruise, I packed nice looking clothes.

My parents aren't exactly night owls, and they went to bed at 10. So I made my way to the club which was on deck 13.

I have never felt so awkward in my life. I went to parties and dances all the time, but this was different. I don't know anybody here... We're all just awkwardly standing around, except for "those people" that can make friends instantly wherever they go. I don't have the confidence to just walk right up to someone and start a conversation. So I just sat on one of the chairs that were modeled to look like the big bongos they use in the Caribbean. They were pretty comfortable actually. I took a drink, and just sat and watched people. What a fun party this was.

This place was only playing the music that I constantly hear on the radio, and I was getting sick of it. I went up and requested "Honestly" by Cartel, not my favorite song, but they didn't have many of the bands I listened to. So I grabbed myself another drink and returned to my seat.

There weren't many people sitting down by themselves anymore, funny how that changed within the 15 minutes I'd been there. There were people making out in the corner, how long have they known each other? Oh yeah, FIFTEEN MINUTES. I wonder about people like that...

While I was looking at the crowd of people dancing under the neon lights and disco balls, I noticed someone sit down next to me out of the corner of my eye. Great, who is this, and what do they want? I tried to ignore him.

"Hello," this soft voice said behind me.

I turned around expecting to find a weird guy with acne and square glasses, wearing a checkered shirt with a sweater vest. I don't know why that was in my mind, but that's the only kind of person I would've expected to approach me.

Much to my surprise, I found a _very _attractive guy sitting next to me. I didn't answer him, I was a little awe struck. He was wearing a white v-neck, with black skinny jeans, and multiple silver necklaces, one of them had a peace sign on it. He was... stylish. He had hair that was messy on purpose, and long, the back almost reaching his shoulders, like a modern day mullet, would be the way to describe it, it was dark brown, with the bangs that a lot of guys had now, swoopy and across his forehead. He pulled this look off quite well.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello?" he said again.

"Oh! Hi! Sorry," I chuckled, "I just wasn't expecting..."

"Expecting what?" he questioned.

"Never mind," I said quickly, "My name is Rockie"

"John," he said with a cute little smirk. "Rockie... is that short for something?

"Yeah, Raquel, but I prefer Rockie." I said.

"Well nice to meet you Rockie." He replied while shaking my hand. "So why are you sitting over here by yourself? Not the party type?" he questioned.

"Hahaha," I laughed, "not at allll" I said sarcastically.

"_Rightttttt_," he laughed, noticing the sarcasm in my voice, good, a lot of people don't pick up on my sarcastic manner that quickly. "So, Rockie, why are you sitting here all by yourself if you love to party so much?"

"I don't know... I just felt awkward not knowing a single person in the room" I stated.

"Well... you know me, soo, do you wanna get up and dance with me?" He said, with a smile on his face.

That smile was almost hypnotizing; He could get a bank teller to give him all the money in a vault with it. Dangerous; But how could I deny it? YES YES YES YES YES YES YES, was all that was running through my mind.

"Sure," I said, trying not to sound _too_ excited that he asked me to dance.

We got up and danced for quite a while, the time seemed to slip away. We didn't really talk that much, we just danced and had a good time. I laughed at his quirky dance moves but I didn't have much room to be talking, I wasn't the world's best dancer either.

Before I knew it, it was 2:45, and the club was about to close shop.

"So..." he said with a questioning tone, "want to go get something to eat, and chill out in a hot tub or something?"

Come to think of it, I was pretty hungry. I didn't eat much at dinner because I just wanted to get away from my family. "Where can we get food at 2:50 in the morning?" I asked.

"The deli!" he exclaimed. "They have grilled cheese there."

"OHHH, one of my favorites, I'm in." I replied.

I love grilled cheese.

We took the elevator down to the lido deck and found the deli after a good 15 minute search.

He ordered 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we waited. They used a Panini maker to make them, so quick, and very delicious.

As we sat at the table he picked out, along the wall of windows, even though you couldn't really see the water at this time of night, it was nice.

The dining room was extravagant. It was mostly red with gold accents. The railing of the stairs and rails were all gold. The whole ship had a very European feel to it. Then again it was made in Italy so that would explain it. The spindles of the staircase were all twisted with beautiful craftsmanship. There were two different sides to the long bars they used as a 5 star buffet. Kind of like the Hurley symbol, two opposite parenthesis back to back, with a large island in the middle used for the gourmet desserts. Of course all of this was empty right now.

"So, where are you from?" He asked.

"New Jersey," I replied.

"Oh, that's cool, so you're near New York City then?"

"Umm about an hour and 20 minutes away, I'm from Lakewood, not too far, I drive there a lot to hang with friends"

"That's a bit of a drive just to hang out with friends," he laughed.

"Eh, it's a nice little drive," I said, "what about you? Where are you from?"

"Arizona," he simply replied

"Really!" I half yelled, "I'm going to ASU this semester in Tempe, studying management and the music industry, how coincidental," I laughed, this was funny...

"What! I live in Scottsdale! That's like 10 minutes from Tempe! That's so funny. It's gonna be a change is weather from what you're used to all the way up north!" he laughed.

"That's why I wanted to go there so bad!" I explained, "I love the heat, and it's so beautiful there." It was true, ASU was my first choice in schools, and the day I got the acceptance letter I jumped up and down screaming in the post office.

"Well, you definitely chose the right place if you like the heat!" He laughed again, and smiled, that big crooked smile of his. I loved it.

"So, how old are you?" he asked.

"17," I replied, "I'll be 18 In October."

"That's cool, I just turned 20 yesterday actually..." He stated. "This was kinda my birthday present from the guys"

"That's fun," I said. "Happy belated birthday" I said with a smile

"Yeah it's starting to get fun he said with that smirk on his face.


	5. Chapter 5

"So the music industry," he said, changing the subject. "an interesting field."

"Yeah, I'm a really big music fan, but I have no musical talent. I've always been interested in the business part of music too. And I figured it'd be a cool experience, and if the music industry ever fails me, well... I could always manage a Mc Donalds or something." I joked.

"Haha!" he laughed. "You have some high goals for yourself." He said in a jokingly sarcastic way. I liked this boy, he could make me laugh and smile, and he wasn't a stuck up, self centered jerk.

"So..." he hesitated. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No," I replied happily, "do you?"

"Actually... yes." He said.

My heart dropped a little bit. "His name is Enrique, we've been together since we were five..." He tried to keep a straight face and talk with a lisp but failed miserably. We both laughed together. "No, I don't have a boyfriend."

"You know what I meant!" I play slapped him.

He started laughing again, "No, I don't have a girlfriend either"

Good, he made jokes... that saved us from the awkward moment that would've usually happened there.

"Gosh," I yawned, "it's late... errr, early" I said correcting myself as I looked at the huge clock on the wall, 4:17. Yikes, where did the time go?

He laughed.

"Rain check on the hot tub?" I asked.  
"Sure," he responded. "Normally, this is where I would give you my number, but seeing as we're now in the middle of the ocean with no cell service..." he trailed off.

"How about we just set a time and place to meet up again tomorrow or something?" I suggested, hoping I wouldn't be rejected.

"How about 1 o'clock, by the main pool?" he said.

"Sure." I happily obliged. "See you then." I said with a smile.

"Bye Rockie," he smirked.

He's not Orlando Bloom... he's better.

I returned to my room and took a nice hot shower. Having my own room was nice, not having to answer questions about where I was or what I've been doing. It was like my own little apartment.

How could someone be so perfect? Not perfect... no one's perfect. But he's pretty damn close. And he lived 10 minutes away from the college I was attending at the start of the semester? Nice.

I changed into my pajamas and drifted to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up to a knock on the door from my mother at 10am. She wanted me to get up and get ready to go to lunch in the main dining hall. Good. I could have lunch with my parents, and go right to the pool to meet John.

I wore a loose tank top and some jean shorts. After making myself look presentable. I exited my room and knocked on my parent's door. They were ready to go.

We made our way to our assigned table and ordered our meal. I got a cheeseburger and some french fries.

"Rockie?" I heard a familiar voice ask behind me. I turned around and spotted John walking with 3 other guys, that all dressed similar to him, and had that long messy-on-purpose hair.

"Hi John." I waved and he smiled. I watched them walk out onto the deck with their trays of food. There were tables out there, so that's probably where they were going to sit and eat.

"Raquel, we're at lunch together as a family. Who is that?" she questioned me.

"His name is John," I explained, "we met last night at the party at the club"

"He seems... different" she said.

"Mom, just because he's not a country club kid that wears polo's and goes golfing, does not mean he's a bad person." I snapped.

"I didn't say he was a bad person!" she defended herself, "I just said he was different"

"It's not what you said, it's how you say it." I stated.

"I don't like him," my father butted in. "You deserve better"

"Dad, I didn't say I was marrying him, we're not dating, I said I met him last night, is it wrong for me to just make friends?" I was getting agitated with the two of them.

"Don't worry hun, it's just a phase. She'll snap out of it eventually"

My father grunted. "that's it!" I protested.

I got up and walked away with my plate of food in hand, towards the sliding glass doors that led to the deck.

My mother called after me, but I ignored her and kept walking.

I stepped through the doors and began scanning the groups of tables, trying to find him. I saw someone start waving and realized it was John.

I walked over and asked if I could join them. I heard "yeah sure!" from 4 different voices. Nice to see that I'm welcome at this table.

I went to go pull up a chair for myself but John had beat me to it. How sweet.

I was sitting at the end of the square table in between John and a guy with hair a tad bit lighter than John's, and a little bit shorter. He was cute. He was wearing a white v-nick with a teal and black checkered shirt over it, unbuttoned, the v-neck was identical to the one John had on last night, and has on now. Is that all he wears? How was he wearing sleeves that came halfway down his arm and skinny jeans in this weather? Then again, they were from Arizona, this is probably the usual weather there.

John introduced me. "guys, this is Rockie, she's going to ASU starting this fall." He paused "Rockie, this is Eric," he said pointing to the guy I sat next to. "Justin, and Kennedy." He pointed to the other two.

Justin was wearing just a regular white crew neck shirt, again, with black skinny jeans. And Kennedy, he was wearing a plain black v-neck. (Ohh, variation. ) and black skinny jeans. They all waved at me and smiled. Kennedy had a nice smile too. Justin wasn't exactly what many people would call hot. But he was certainly adorable, and cute in his own way. All these guys were cute, and they constantly made me laugh. I think I'm gonna like Arizona.


	6. Chapter 6

We finished eating and had random conversations about what I was studying and what I wanted to do with my life. I told them how I'd like to be a tour manager for a little while, and then how later on I just wanted to be a regular band manager. They all made weird little side comments, with smiles, when I explained this. I didn't understand...

After we finished eating, we decided we'd all hang out in the at the Versailles pool, at the back of the ship. No one was there, so it was perfect. We all returned to our rooms to change. John was already wearing his trunks, so he walked with me to my room.

"814" he said softly to himself, I just barely heard him.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Nothing," he replied laughing.

He sat on the bed while I changed into my bathing suit in the tiny bathroom. It was black, with teal strings. I threw on my white cover up and entered the room again.

We walked back up to the lido deck and met the rest of the guys at the pool.

Eric had something is his hand.

"Brought the tunes," he informed us.

He brought a small solar powered iHome with him. What a good idea.

No one was around, there was some party thing happening on the main deck, people were occupied elsewhere. So we played the music at a pretty decent volume.

Eric had some strange things on his iPod. One song came on, and I loved it. It was so good.

_And I will take my time,__  
__Cause it's the only thing that's on my side.__  
__And this can't be real,__  
__Tell me do you ever feel?_

"Eric," I said. "Who is this? It's really good."

They all chuckled and John started to blush.

"What?" I asked.

What had I said?

"This is john's band" he said.

Oh.

I looked at John, who was now a bright shade of red. "Really?" I asked.

"Yeah..." he said. "I sing for this band called The Maine..."

"You didn't mention that last night," I said laughing.

"I try not to bring it up, people tend to act... differently, once they know"

"Well, you have a great voice." I complimented.

"Thanks" he said smiling.

That smile! I swear it will put you into a trance.

"So wait, are they all in your band too?" I asked John quietly thinking no one else could hear me.

"I am," Kennedy said, "I play guitar and sing harmonies."

Nope they heard me.

John explained that Eric and Justin were in a band called A Rocket to the Moon. But Justin also sang in a band called Brighten.

Now all the laughing and weird comments about me wanting to be a band manager made sense.


	7. Chapter 7

I sat and listened to the other songs by The Maine, and songs by Brighten and A Rocket to the Moon. They were all such great bands.

John invited me to come to dinner with them, but I figured I'd better try and get back on my parents good side. I don't need them upset with me more than usual for the rest of the vacation. So I politely declined. John seemed kinda sad that I wasn't going to be joining them for dinner. But that's alright, this was only the first real day of the cruise... there'd be plenty of time for us to hang out more. And trust me, I definitely wanted to hang out as much as possible, and that's why I needed to get back on their good side. We decided we'd all meet up at the club again tonight.

I went to dinner with my parent's and explained everything with John. They still didn't like the idea of me hanging out with a group of four 20 year old guys so much, but they got over it. Well, three 20 year old guys and one 19 year old. Kennedy wouldn't turn 20 until September 13th.

We finished dinner and went to one of the shows they have in the Venetian theater every night. I went to the club at 11, got myself a drink, and sat down in the same chair as the previous night.

"Hello stranger," I hears him whisper in my ear from behind.

It scared the hell out of me. "Hi John!" I said. I waved and smiled at Kennedy, Justin, and Eric.

We didn't stay in the club for very long. They hated that music as much as I did.

We went and played a late night game of mini golf up on the very top deck. John defeated us all. (Now at least I can tell my father than John DOES play golf. Haha.)

The rest of the guys all went back to their rooms, and left me and John alone. They wanted to get an early start tomorrow when we docked in Puerto Rico.

We walked to the front of the boat, trying to find a deck where we were in front of the boat and were able to look at the water rush by us, even though it was dark out, you could still make out the water on the sides of the boat from the lights on the ship and in the rooms with port holes. We were unsuccessful so we just went and sat with our feet in the pool, talking.

I explained how my dad wasn't very supportive of my whole "band management idea"

"He'd rather me just grow up being useless and marry some rich guy that he picks out for me from the country club, and I'm not interested."

My father was a doctor, and was very old fashioned. He thought women should stay home and do the house work and cooking, while the men were the breadwinners. This was **not** how I intend to live my life.

John thought I was strong for not giving up on my dreams because of what my father said. This is something I admire about him, he always just gets it.

It was now 2:30 am.

"Well, as much as I'd love to stay and chat with you..." I hesitated, "I should really head to bed. I know I'm going to get woken up bright and early to go roam around Puerto Rico with my family, but," I paused, "the good news is, we have cell phone service tomorrow since we're inside US territory!" We were both very happy about this.

He walked me back to my room and I wrote down my cell phone number for him. Hopefully he'd use it.

We walked back over to my door and he hugged me. It was kind of random, but I wasn't complaining. I hugged him back.

"Goodnight Rockie," he said with a grin on his face.

"Goodnight John" I replied smiling.

I shut the door and did my nightly ritual before going to bed. I showered, changed into nice pajamas, and drifted to sleep.


End file.
